If you believe social media (a big if) lockdown has been the perfect opportunity to learn a new language, write a novel, get fit and bake the perfect sourdough loaf. All of this while working from home, caring for family and preserving one's mental health. To those of us who are perfectionists everyday involves this [...]
The sun is shining, the streets are empty and like the majority of the population I am indoors. The difference is this is not because of Covid-19 - I have to acknowledge that my isolation is nothing to do with the virus and everything to do with longstanding health issues. When I first heard about [...]
Unfortunately recovery is not a question of waking up one morning to see a golden dawn knowing that you have won. There are no rainbows, no unicorns and there are days when you really don't want to continue to fight. You may relapse – that is part of recovery – sometimes you have to [...]
Almost six months into recovery – it is time to ask myself what is the point? Because to be honest recovery – even though I am still in the very early stages and it is so much better than the alternative – is not enough. There has to be a point to living a healthier [...]
MALNUTRITION Why an eating disorder is for life and not just for Christmas. Eating disorders have very poor outcomes and even if you recover there may be long-term health consequences of which you were unaware. The statistics are unreliable and tend to focus on those who have had in-patient treatment - not the many, many [...]
Regrets – unlike Frank Sinatra – I have more than a few – or perhaps I only have one – my life and how I have wasted it. It was once said that the Spartans would leave their babies on a mountainside to sort the weak from those who would thrive – it now seems [...]
Every morning I wake up depressed – I lie in bed and contemplate the barren wasteland that is my life. I can go right back to my school days, go through all the wrong decisions I have ever made – in other words every decision I have ever made and all this before I have [...]
When you feel like a python who has eaten a cow – and you're a vegetarian! When you start eating and fear you'll never stop. When you cannot think of anything to eat. When you wander round the supermarket for 10 minutes and walk out with nothing. When the server forgets your order and you're [...]
Yes it is all because of your childhood and yes you can get over it. Finding your inner child is a cliché of therapy – every self-help book tells you to give yourself the parenting you missed. But what if like me you feel that you have examined your past at such length that you [...]
Today 27 June 2017 is my anniversary – six weeks without bingeing, fasting or purging. And this time I truly believe that I can overcome the eating disorder which has dominated my every waking hour for more than 30 years. Is it difficult – hell yes – do I wake up every morning wanting to [...]
My Authentic Life 