I am not good enough – whatever I do, whatever I achieve I am not good enough. This is the constant soundtrack to my life – the voice that I can never silence. As a child I thought that academic success was the answer – that if I passed enough exams, if I was top [...]
It has become a commonplace – every time a celebrity dies before their time I assume that the cause is suicide as the result of depression. Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain, Lucy Birley, Ellie Soutter – a roll call of people who seemed to have it all – money, success, rewarding work, friends and family, but [...]
And so it is Christmas and what have you done? Thank you John Lennon for that lyric which can tip me over the edge at the festive season. Christmas is a time of families and food - neither of which are comfortable topics for me. I have no family and my memories of festivities en [...]
Regrets – unlike Frank Sinatra – I have more than a few – or perhaps I only have one – my life and how I have wasted it. It was once said that the Spartans would leave their babies on a mountainside to sort the weak from those who would thrive – it now seems [...]
This week I had to explain bulimia nervosa to a colleague. Yes here was a women who had never really heard of eating disorders – she knew about anorexia – 'people get very thin, yes?' But bulimia was a mystery. What had started as a joke about Princess Diana – became for me a real [...]
Every morning I wake up depressed – I lie in bed and contemplate the barren wasteland that is my life. I can go right back to my school days, go through all the wrong decisions I have ever made – in other words every decision I have ever made and all this before I have [...]
I knew that there would be days like these – days when all the horror of the past returns and the future seems hopeless. When I slip back into all the destructive patterns and forget all the progress I have made. It is important to remember this is only one day – I am trying [...]
