25 January 2021 – Independence Day!
This was the day I had my first vaccination – thank you Pfizer and thank you to the NHS.
I am filled with hope, but also with guilt. I am categorised as a key frontline worker – although for the last 11 months that has meant being in my home with a phone and a laptop and an increasing number of clients seeking advice and support. But I am not a scientist or a medic and I do not feel worthy – I understand that until we are all safe, none of us are safe – truly the life I save may not be my own.
My immune system may be compromised – I may be rapidly approaching a birthday that would have allowed me the vaccine on grounds of age and I may be doing an important job. But none of these facts helps me to believe that my life is worthwhile.
The truth of lockdown is that you are not a better person or even a different person – just the same person with a worse haircut. So as I re-learn everyday from talking to clients the problems we had in 2019 remain with the added horror of Covid. And when this is over – even if it is a new reality where we live with the virus, rather than defeat it. We will have to build a better world.
At our best we have shown that we can care for others, that knowlege and resources can solve our problems. And that we can live with change.
But everytime we see a light on the horizon – there is another headline – a new variant – a rumour and once again ‘No Time to Die’ is postponed!
We remain strong – even if it involves holding on to our physical and mental health by our fingernails – there will be a tomorrow and the vaccine is the start.