Unfortunately recovery is not a question of waking up one morning to see a golden dawn knowing that you have won. There are no rainbows, no unicorns and there are days when you really don’t want to continue to fight.

You may relapse – that is part of recovery – sometimes you have to fall to remember how bad things were and why you started the journey to health.

I wake up depressed everyday – maybe one day I will spring out of bed with a smile on my face ready to face whatever the world throws at me. However it has not happened yet. I know I have a choice I can fall back into the welcoming arms of depression – withdraw from the world and count the minutes until I can sleep again. Or I can take the small steps towards normality – I can make a cup of coffee, comb my hair and realise that I am OK.

Sometimes you have to look back – to remember how low you have been – to remember that you can take some little steps – fasting isn’t the answer, bingeing isn’t the answer, bed isn’t the answer and any achievement is a victory.

I have wasted too many days because they were not perfect, because I was not perfect.

Sometimes just getting up is a victory. It is time to take pleasure in normality. To celebrate mediocrity.

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