And so it is Christmas  and what have you done?

Thank you John Lennon for that lyric which can tip me over the edge at the festive season.  Christmas is a time of families and food – neither of which are comfortable topics for me. I have no family and my memories of festivities en famille are not happy and food will always be an issue.  Surrounded by greed and self indulgence  my patience is tested beyond endurance.

And this year although I have begun to tackle my depression and eating disorder I still see my life as a tale of failure with no hope of a better future.

Food was once my refuge from the misery of depression – then starvation proved more rewarding. Now I face the reality of my life without my support system.

So 2017 saw some high spots – returning to writing and activism (thanks you Brexit and Trump) and sketching some goals.  But still I am me. And this has always been my problem – whatever my weight – I am a nothing – a person rejected by life – fated to live without hope.


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