Falling Off The Wagon

I knew that there would be days like these – days when all the horror of the past returns and the future seems hopeless. When I slip back into all the destructive patterns and forget all the progress I have made.

It is important to remember this is only one day – I am trying to do the most difficult thing that anyone can do – to change myself.

I know what will happen if I fall back into old ways – they only bring pain. And I know that I can change – I know what works, now I just have to do it.

So tomorrow is a fresh start – the new behaviours, the new connections in my brain, the new behaviours – all need time and practise to grow stronger.

This is one bad day – it is not the rest of my life. I have had a glimpse of recovery and I know how good it feels.

And it has been yet another learning experience – I cannot behave in one way for more than 25 years and expect to change overnight – or even over 11 weeks and I must make my recovery my priority. Being well needs firm foundations and I am still building them.

I am a work in progress.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s